A 1-In-100 Blogger: It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Obama!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Obama!

Things were great in America - across the globe in fact. Nothing could slow down the stock market. Distant cries of excitement could be heard around the world, "We're in the money!" So it goes... then the inevitable happened.

The Great Wall Street Crash of 2008.

The Dow's worst week finally came to an end. Desperately in search of a hero, Wall Street, the United States, and the entire world thought they had found their guy - a 'selfless' someone to break the economic free-fall and put a stop to the madness! Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.

Similar to Lex Luther, a villain in disguise, it turned out that Hank Paulson conned an already bewildered U.S. Congress and a integrity-lacking Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi into handing him a 'no-strings-attached' $700 billion check - paid for by the U.S. taxpayers. Paulson held a bazooka to taxpayers’ heads: "For the survival of the economy. No time for deliberation. No time to review the failures of such interventionist approaches around the world. Now, now, now! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

Also faintly similar to Luthor when he used a crisis to help super charge his Presidential campaign, Paulson too is ultimately assisted by the unpopularity of the previous administration's mishandling of the economy and financial markets. In Paulson's case, he simply had "other plans" to spend his hard earned $700 Billion. Of course, none of his true intentions were aforementioned prior to receiving taxpayer dollars. None the less, his con was revealed. The right question was finally asked by Congressman Stearns: "Mr. Paulson, how do you have any credibility?"

This story isn't over yet folks. It's just beginning! Like Superman who's the hero countering an evil Lex Luther, America also needed a superhero to counter its villain. The United States was in need of a real hero - with emphasis on the 'O'. But where could such a man be found? The fairy tale suggests it must be one not born in the U.S., or on Earth for that matter. Where is the Hope?! Who will give the needy some Change?

Look! Up in the sky!

It's a Bird... It's a Plane... It's Obama!

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He spoke with such prevalence, Obama made so much sense! His charming looks and the intellectual conversations with a teleprompter put it all into perspective for his followers. Barack Obama the hero - here to fix the USA!

With a straight face and full of confidence, America's hero said, "I think my initial measure of success is creating or saving 4 million jobs." To show his courage and might, just months later, only 6.5 million jobs had been lost.

Even more astonishing: Obama's pledge didn't end there. The great hero also made the statement, "I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."

Besides pushing through the largest tax hike in American history, along with other massive tax increases to fund socialized health care, Obama absolutely held to his word. A carbon tax increase here, a soda tax increase there, why were some people still so worried? This of course didn't account for the other tax increases on small businesses which kill jobs and slash wages, but who's counting? Obama said that only the wealthiest people will have to pay for everyone else to get free stuff! Who doesn't like free entitlements?

His followers believed in every word he spoke, they believed in him. They trusted Obama. His plan was proof that idealism really was the right way to run the U.S. government. To show their gratitude, America and the world spoke back to their savior, collectively they said, "Thank you, Mr. Obama; thank you, hero."


Anonymous said...

wow you are an idiot, read a little more, think a little more, i must apologize though for this statement is somewhat prejudice and hypocritical for i could not read far past the part where you state that the stock market was perpetual until 2008, the economic downturn has more to it than you think and it certainly didn't result from Obama's actions.

Anonymous said...

sorry about the last post, lol, i finished reading, i retract my statement.